Last night I went to a fancy cocktail event thing. This kind of thing is quickly becoming a normal weekday night for me, which is weird. As a public school teacher, I didn’t spend much time with the kinds of people who have walls of framed Basquiat drawings (“Oh, he gave them to me for my seventh birthday.”) or Hugh Jackman’s phone number (“Oh, our kids hang out.”). These are people who get paid for every hour they work.
I, myself, am not fancier since moving. Nor wealthier, by any stretch of the imagination. I make less money than I used to and get paid for fewer of the hours that I do work. I probably dress better, but that’s more out of necessity than style. This is part of my life now, though: hanging with the corporate financiers. It’s like playing dress up. It’s like being in disguise. And it’s rather nifty. I hope the wonder of being met at the door by a tuxedoed man holding a coat hanger will not cease to astonish and delight me.
So last night, I wasn’t meant to be there. This was a ‘Progressive Philanthropy’ get-together – for those who give the money, not those whose organizations receive it. I looked at the invite list and had my suspicions. I saw that the event had a cash bar, and my suspicions were confirmed: non-profit events tend to take pity on us and give us a free glass of wine or two.
Still, there is nothing we like more than the chance to network, and I was the delegate for the evening.
Despite being very much out of my league – 400 of the city’s well-to-do and myself, in New York & Co. pants – I did not fall down, spill, or do anything to embarrass myself. I met some very nice people who were interested in my organization. It’s true, too, what they say – that the corporate types get a kick out of schmoozing with those they believe are artsy and bohemian. Thank god I have a nose ring.
Really, though, the only trouble I had was in the bathroom. After spending a great deal of time staring at this sign and trying to figure out what it was trying to tell me about my purse
it occurred to me to read the text. There was no way I was able to pee after that.