May 30th, 2013. 10:02 pm – Message, via “contact us” page on timewarnercable.com
Dear Customer Service,
I work for a non-profit. I do not make much money. I am paying far more than I can afford for the cable that is – frankly – what I often cling to after weeks of of cranky teenagers, belligerent and/or apathetic administrators, and, often, 14 hour days. Why is it that I rarely, if ever, start something on-demand without it stuttering out on me, with that yellow triangle pop-up telling me the program is ‘not currently available’, and forcing me to restart? Again? And again? And freaking again?
I realize The Bachelorette is not intellectual viewing. This is not something I admit to without a sense of shame. But it’s what, dammit, I want to watch so I don’t have to think about test scores and graduation rates and hungry kids and deadlines for two magical, unrealistic hours. Having to restart this show – I kid you not – over a dozen times after finally having those two hours after three weeks without a day off has left me seething with hatred. Seething.
It’s not like this is the first time. This happens every time. Every time! Old shows, new shows. Shows I’ve already watched! Stutter, stutter — die. Restart. Restutter. Redie.
I’ve already given up calling the support number over my abysmally slow internet service. I’ve decided my time is better spent waiting for a page to load than to speak with yet another condescending ‘support provider’ who asks me what I expect, I live in Brooklyn. “It’s crowded there.”
If I had a choice in cable, I would run have leaped from this train long ago. However, since I live in New York, I do not get a choice. I realize this means you have no actual incentive to fix this issue – but please. For the love of all that is dear and precious, afford me this ONE BIT OF HAPPINESS and give me on-demand that works. Let me watch bad reality television and detective shows all in one sitting. Surely, surely this is not too much.
Yours in fury,
May 30th, 10:29 pm – Response, via email
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We all knew there would be no real answer to this message. I do not expect a follow up. I do not expect this issue to be resolved. But it’s out there. And I can only assume that when I run screaming into the street, armed with a chair leg and demanding justice, the words “Time Warner” will grant me instant leniency, if not immunity.