Tag Archives: Beret

Peer Review

in the throes of flash fiction contest
limit: 1000 words
time remaining: mere hours
genre: horror
with co-entrant Beret via gchat

Gina: I’m at 1100 and only one person is dead. and he was already dead

Beret: Obviously we have the start of longer stories we will have to do another day, in all of our extra time

Beret: in the meantime. CRAP

Gina: Maybe I’ll cut a character. One fewer to kill

Beret: I have fantasy. I don’t even have anything magical yet.

Gina: you should end with: “and he lived happily ever after”. now give me an ending and we’re all set

Beret: ok. “he dies”

Gina: all the hes are already dead. there are only shes left

Beret: well don’t kill them. maybe they become part of the evil machine

Gina: I’m at 1100 words. there is no time to assimilate, only maybe to die

Gina: maybe they die of word count

Beret: well cut 108 words, and then say: “and then they all died spontaneously and forever”

Beret: I’m helpful





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Filed under festive activities, struggles, writing

Stupid Goodbyes Ruining Everything

Me: If you read my outgoing text messages, it sounds like I’m having a really fun week.

Beret: What do you mean?

Me: Well, from yesterday: “At Bardot-a-go-go.  French cover of Avril Levigne playing.  ‘Ay! Ay! Tu! Tu!'”.   And tonight: “Carrie Fisher just stuffed confetti down my cleavage.”

Beret: Well, you are having a fun week.

Me: I guess.

Beret: Except for the … you know, crying.  And the packing.  And the leaving.

Me: Except for that.


Filed under struggles

Three Conversations With Beret

One:  on the phone.

I am packing.

Me: I am watching the Clean House marathon to inspire me.

Beret: I don’t know what that is.

Me: You are missing out.  It’s totally helping me purge.

Beret: I have a pretty hard time getting rid of stuff I think I might use again someday.

Me: I used to –  but I am getting so good!  I am amazing!  I am totally getting rid of everything I won’t need this year!  I am your impressive friend that keeps nothing that is not immediately useful!

Beret: What about the ten boxes of stuff you’re storing indefinitely in my basement?

Me: That’s different.

Two: at the bar

Beret’s five year old has lice.

Well, it has to happen.  All little kids get lice at some point.

Beret: I’m tired of vacuuming.  And bagging.  And combing.  It’s awful.

Me: It’s like a rite of passage.  It just happens.  You hang out with other little kids, everyone passes it around.

Beret: I never had them.

Me: Actually, I never did either.

Beret: So –

Me: Of course, I didn’t really have any friends when I was a little kid.

Beret: … oh.  Yeah.  Me either.

(Long tragic pause.  Another round of cocktails is ordered.)

Three:  on the phone

I am packing.

:  Ok, I need help. You watched Clean House yesterday, right?

Beret: Yeah, but I had to turn it off.  It was too disgusting.

Me:  Ok, well.  You get the point at least.

Beret: Get rid of stuff.

Me: Yeah!  Especially if it’s not useful.

Beret: Yeah!

Me: Ok, so here’s my problem.  I have these boxes of souvenir type stuff.  And I’m tempted to just get rid of it all.  I mean, I don’t want kids, I haven’t opened them in, like, a decade.  What’s the point?

Beret: I hear you.

Me: Really – why do I need some of this stuff?  Is anyone in my life ever going to care that I have a prop from each play I was in in college?

Beret: Ooooooh, you have that?  That’s so wonderful!

Me: … you are not going to be helpful in this process, are you?

Beret: Probably not.

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Filed under learnings